Today is Wednesday, May 27th, 2015. I had my third appointment with my psychiatrist earlier today.
I noticed how much easier it is for me to tell my psychiatrist/therapist how it is that I am truly feeling. I can be as honest as possible with them. It’s a big step after being known in the psychiatric unit for “beating around the bush” with my own problems. Whenever the psychiatrist asked me “why” it was that I was feeling a certain way, I’d groan at her and say, “why is my least favorite question.” I’d talk a lot, but never actually spoke. I was afraid to admit my true feelings.
I told my psychiatrist today about the anger I’ve been feeling lately. I told her about the stories I’d hear about other people committing suicide, getting anxiety, or beating themselves down with extreme negativity. I cried when I told her the two words that bother me the most because of these things: People die.
This session helped me to see that in therapy, I can tell what it is that bothers me or makes me happy without feeling ashamed. I can be vulnerable if I want to. Talking about what’s been new lately has been a great exercise of getting me to be not just honest with the therapist/psychiatrist, but to be honest with myself.
Therapy is something we can all benefit from. It keeps my feelings, thoughts, and emotions in check. How can we continue living our lives if we’re simply not being real with ourselves? With much love,