Words and apologies

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (‭Proverbs‬ ‭12‬:‭18‬ NIV)

I started reading the book, Speak Love by Annie F. Downs. After reading the first chapter and a half of the second, I immediately thought

Crap.

She speaks about the power of words – how they’re used to either build up or destroy. As I thought about myself in the past, I couldn’t help but tear up. I used to hate myself. I’d curse myself out, call myself “stupid,” and just blatantly told myself to die. I’m realizing now just how powerful those words were. They sought to destroy my soul.

Not only was I destroying myself with my words, but I hurt the people I loved most:

To my beautiful sisters, Alissa and Andrea, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for having said awful things to you both when you’ve always been nothing but good to me. Please forgive me as God has.

To anonymous, I’m sorry I pushed you away with such harsh words. I’m sorry for piercing you in the times you tried to help. I pray for God’s faithful hand upon you.

To myself, I’m sorry I hated you so much. I’m sorry for not taking good care of you as God wanted me to. No longer are you the things that I once told you. Instead you are beautiful, intelligent, brave, and precious in God’s eyes.

Annie Downs mentions that the beauty of it all is God’s forgiveness. He is so good. He forgives me and says it’s all good girl. What’s even better is that I believe that through this blog He’s given me a chance of redemption – to speak words of love and encouragement, instead of words of hatred and death.

I strongly encourage anyone to read this book! I only started reading it yesterday and I don’t want to put it down. God bless and happy reading! With much love,


– Ariel

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