“‘He has blinded their eyes
and hardened their hearts,
so they can neither see with their eyes,
nor understand with their hearts,
nor turn — and I would heal them.'” – John 12:40 / Isaiah 6:10
As I prayed for certain people and about certain things tonight, the Lord brought this verse upon my heart. Then I thought about other stories in the bible that I’ve read several times before:
- The woman who bled constantly for 12 years, but strived to touch the hem of Jesus’ robe. (Luke 8:43-45)
- Mary, who used the most expensive perfume, and massaged Jesus’ feet and wiped them with her hair. (John 12:3)
- Thomas, who touched Jesus’ hands and believed. (John 20:27)
The most beautiful thing that I once overlooked in these stories is the power of touch. With Jesus’s touch, we are healed.
When I admitted to myself that I was depressed two months ago, I asked the Lord for healing. Since then, everyday, He never ceases to extend His loving hand out to me. He always has in my life, but the difference between then and now is that I finally see how my hands look in contrast to His own. His hands are pure and beautiful, but mine are dirty, cut, and bloody.
We sing worship songs in church or in prayer meetings that literally have the words “I want to touch You.” But when we do touch Him, are we seeing the difference between His face, and our hands? His pureness, and our filthiness? The woman who bled for 12 years knew she was sick. Mary knew that she was in pain from the death of her beloved brother Lazarus. Thomas knew, once He touched Jesus’ hands, that he was guilty of not believing. They saw their sicknesses, their sorrows, their doubts, their sins for what they truly were. Jesus still loved them and accepted their touch.
Healing is so beautiful. With The Lord’s healing we are no longer blind to our sins nor hard-hearted. We can be honest with ourselves, humble, and cling to Jesus all the more. Ever since I touched the Lord and saw myself for the first time, He has continually showed me my wounds (my sins, my sorrows, even strong bitterness about certain things, etc.). Each time is simply just another wound He wants to patch up. (It’s so awesome!)
I encourage you to ask the Lord to see yourself the way He sees you. Ask Him what He believes you need healing in. Please, do not be afraid to truly see, as I once was. It’s okay to look at yourself and to see the faults. You are still beautiful. There is true beauty in your faults because of Christ, His love, and His healing.
With much love,