And he said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” – Matthew 18:3
I’ve been working at a summer camp for kids of ages 2-4 (they’re basically babies). Each counselor is assigned one or two children to take responsibility over. So yesterday, as my little 2 year old baby girl entered the room, she got so excited and ran so fast that she suddenly slipped over a piece of paper that no one knew was on the floor. She was so shocked that she just buried herself into my arms out of embarrassment and small fear. This precious child didn’t cry. She’s a trooper.
Friends, to be completely honest I’ve been avoiding this blog. I’ve been avoiding all talk about “healing” for sometime. I avoided my daily SOAPs/devotionals. Let’s face it, I avoided God. I felt so ashamed, having been all “yay, let’s spread the word about healing” one day to shutting down completely the next.
Working two jobs for the past three weeks took a toll on me physically. I also neglected taking my medication for the past month, which was a really dumb mistake I made. (If you’re prescribed antidepressants, please. Just three words: Take. Your. Meds.) I was angry all the time. I had the same thoughts and feelings that I had prior to entering into the psych unit. I kept punishing myself again: “I don’t care anymore. I’ll never get better.” In reality, I was simply tired and wasn’t taking my meds. I slipped, but hey, that’s just life. You get up and move on. You can’t ever control what happens.
What I love about my baby girl is that she’s always giggly and smiley. She was shocked when she fell for only the slightest bit, but she was also immediately comforted as I held her tightly in my arms. God the Father is an even greater example of someone who offers so much love and comfort. I failed to let myself be comforted by Him when I slipped. I turned the other way from Him and resorted to chronic numbness. This is simply not the way to go.
Let yourself be a child, just like my precious little girl. Ask Him to comfort you. Let Him. He is always willing to despite what you may think about yourself. Our Father loves you that much.
With much love,